You should read Radical Candor

Kim Scott’s Radical Candor is one of my favorite books on management. However, the book is often applied by bad bosses who think they now havea reason to be harsh and punitive in their communication to you.  They think the idea of the book is to be direct and candid, to say what you mean and mean what you say.

This is true….for teammates with whom you’ve paid the social capital to develop a strong and positive relationship. This is not nuance. It’s the core tenant of the book. The first step is to invest the time and energy to show you care.  This takes real work.  The second step is to then be direct in your criticism because you care about your team and want them to be successful.  

Tough love is just that, tough.  But it’s necessary to help people get to where they want to be.